The most universal trait of mankind- a trait you and everybody else have- a trait so strong that it makes men do the things that they do, good and bad- is the desire to be important, the desire to be recognized.
So to be skillful in human relations, be sure to make people feel important. Remember that the more important you make people feel, the more they will respond to you.
Everybody wants to be treated as a somebody. Nobody wants to be treated as a nobody and when they are ignored or talked down to, they are being treated as just that.
Keep in mind – to the other person, he is just as important to himself as you are to yourself. The use of this trait is one of the cornerstones of successful human relations.
Some tips on how to recognize people and make them feel important-
- Listen to them
- Refusal to listen to people is just about the surest way of making them feel unimportant and of rating them as a nobody. Listening to them is just about the best way of making them feel important.
- Applaud and compliment them when they deserve it.
- Use their names and pictures as often as possible
- Call people by their names and use their pictures(appropriately please!) and they will love you
- Pause before you answer them. This gives them the impression you have thought over what they said and that it was worthy of thinking over.
- Use their words- you and your.
- Not I, me, my, mine.
- Acknowledge people who are waiting to see you. If they have to wait, let them know you know they are waiting. This is really treating them as a somebody.
- Pay attention to everybody in a group. Not to just the leader or spokesman. A group is more than one.